Superstitions, prayers and wishes
By Juliana Kassianos, Transformational Fertility Coach, Yoga Teacher and Founder of The School of Fertility
I’m genuinely not a superstitious person – at my wedding I didn't do the whole wearing 'something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue'. I don't pray regularly or make wishes unless it's my birthday and I'm blowing out a candle on a cake. Following our miscarriage though, this all changed.
It was like I was looking out for any positive signs the universe was giving me to tell me it would all be okay in the end, whilst also sending out my heart-felt request to become a mother in the form of prayers and wishes at any opportunity I had. In some ways it helped me feel like I was increasing my chances of getting pregnant again with a healthy baby, which had a really comforting effect, especially in the initial weeks when everything with still quite raw. I think it also helped me to feel as though I was a little bit more in control, even though technically I wasn't. Encase some of you can relate, here are some of the things I found myself doing.
One day I saw some magpies sitting on the lawn. I started counting them, singing to myself the magpie nursery rhyme: "One for sorrow, Two for joy, Three for a girl, Four for a boy”. I know it must sound absolutely ridiculous, but it really did make my day the fact I’d landed on four, although three would have been great too. I admit, I did look away quickly though encase another flew over and ruined my count.
LIGHTING A CANDLE IN CHURCH
My husband Steve and I went on holiday to the Dordogne in France with my family a few weeks after our miscarriage. One day we visited a beautiful church in a quiet little town called Domme. There was something very moving about this church, I felt such a sense of peace as I walked around it. At the end of the aisle there was an area we could light a prayer candle, so we choose a candle, deposited the money in the box and said our prayers as we lit it. It was raining, so we went to get a hot drink at a local cafe. While we were there, we quesitoned whether we’d paid the right amount for the candle. Not being able to remember, we felt we just had to go back and check as otherwise our prayers might not be answered, as silly as this may sound. We had actually paid the right amount, but decided to add another euro into the collection box for good luck, as one does.
THROWING A COIN IN A WISHING WELL
In another pretty little French town called Sarlat, we came across what looked like a wishing well, as we could see coins that had been thrown in. So, we held hands, threw a coin over our shoulder into the well and made our wish. We really were trying to give ourselves as much luck as possible.
These are just a few examples. I could tell you more about picking up pennies on the street, wishing on rainbows and refusing for Steve to put an old mirror jewellery box in our skip encase it smashed, but I guess at the end of the day, the actions themselves didn't matter. What did matter was that they had a really positive effect on my mindset. I used to think fertility talisman, little bottles of baby dust and good luck charms, were a complete scam, but I have to say, since having a miscarriage, I'm a total convert and a firm believer in anything that can help me keep positive.